How do we find connection to our Higher Self again after a major life transition? What action steps can we take to ground and reconnect ourselves even when we feel lost and alone?
Life moves fast and sometime our routines and self care practices suffer because of it. I don't need to tell you how unsettling and stressful life can be at times. It can throw a curve ball out of left field at anytime and you just have to roll with the punches. One minute you're comfortable in your space, have a good routine going and a healthy lifestyle finally forming and then BAM! Life gives you a big old slap in the face. Maybe you lost your job or broke up with your significant other, you get sick or you have to move. Maybe it's a positive change! You start a new relationship, you move to a new place or get a new job. It doesn't matter what lemon you're handed, all we know is we have to deal with it and just keep swimming. We've all been there many times and it shakes us up every time.
"Whenever we feel unsettled or stuck we have a hard time connecting to our higher selves and feel even more lost and disconnected than before."
When did you feel the most connected to your higher self? Where were you living? Were you single or in a relationship? Were you in a good healthy place or in a dark painful place? When trying to connect with our higher selves and reach a new understanding of our inner worlds it is imperative to do a self intake.
Do I feel safe in my space?
Am I mentally prepared to look closely at my inner wounds?
Do I have any mental, emotional or spiritual support?
Am I afraid of what I might find?
What are my hopes and goals to find when I search deeper?
Am I frustrated with life and need a serious change?
Do I even know where to start?
These are very important questions we need to ask ourselves when doing inner work and reaching for our higher selves. When we work on ourselves in any fashion we need to have an idea and a plan as to what we're doing. When we go in head first into anything without a basic step-by-step plan we often times don't follow through or never see any results. Why is that? It's because when we don't have a main objective that we're working towards, we have an ever moving target that slips further and further into the distance. I don't know about you but thats a hard and unsatisfying game to play.
Below are some Action Steps you can take to help you Connect to your Higher Self when you are Feeling Lost without your Guiding Star.
1. Asses Your Home Life
Do you have a stressful home life? Is there a lot of clutter everywhere? Do you work from home? Or have young children or pets always running around? Dishes to clean, laundry to do? We all have chores that pile up but physical and emotional clutter hinders our spiritual senses. When we are in a state of disarray and have 'stuff' everywhere, feeling overwhelmed and flustered, it can be hard to concentrate on anything let alone go inward. We have to much to deal with out here!
Before we can do any inner work in our own space we have to physically clean and clear our living areas. Yes Im saying it, go clean your room!! Clean up your space and make it feel good in there! Wash your sheets, vacuum, put all your stuff away, put on an essential oil diffuser and your favorite music. To feel good inside it always helps to feel good on the outside. Its an easy (though not always) first step to help you feel at home in your 'space' and help you connect to your higher self.
2. Set Up Your Alter
You might not be a spiritual person or maybe you've never done this before at all! But having a place to display all the things sacred to you is important. It can be as small as a few items on a shelf to a whole wall dedicated to all the things you hold sacred. Items on an alter can be anything from your favorite stone or figurine, to a photo you treasure or a trinket that always brings you joy. There is no right answer and no two alters are alike. This is just for you!
An alter should reflect all of the things that make you feel joy and happiness when you look at them. Place your alter somewhere in your home that is quiet, away from any regular commotion and somewhere you can be alone. This will become a sacred place. A place where you can sit and look at the alter and feel calm and connected. Using an alter is wonderful when connecting to your higher self and you need something to concentrate on when our minds start to wander. Alters are also great when connecting to our higher selves, as they help ground us and bring us back to earth when we start drifting too high.
*It's also a good habit to clean and rearrange your alter from time to time to move the energy around and freshen it up. When we let anything collect literal and figurative dust it creates stagnant energy. We always want a clean space when trying to connect to our higher self and go inwards.
3. Notice What You Eat in a Day
What we put into our bodies matters sooo much! If we eat too much sugar, packaged foods, wheat, alcohol, soy or dairy our systems have a hard time functioning at their normal rate. If you're in the US like I am, our food here is jam packed with sugar and additives we don't even know about. When we start to notice what foods we eat and what goes into our bodies we start to have more control over our physical, mental and spiritual health.
Too much sugar in our system blocks our pineal glad from operating at its fullest potential. Same goes for fluoride and wheat products. When these food particles are in our system, it obstructs our internal visual and auditory senses and clouds our judgement making us foggy. To allow yourself to clearly and directly connect to your higher self allow yourself a few days to a week of no sugar, gluten and fluoride in your system and drink plenty of water. Then at that point your body is able to start flushing out those toxins and helps provide you with a clearer view to your higher being.
4. Break Out the Crystals, Tarot Cards and Sage
This is a fun one. This is the one everyone is always eager to dive into. It can be so fun to learn all about stones, tarot cards and smudging your whole house. But what is not talked about enough, is how we spend too much time focusing on the items themselves and not enough time connecting with each item and how they work best for you and your healing journey. For example; you can love the look of labradorite and resonate with its properties but every time you pick it up it doesn't connect with you. That stone is not doing anything for you at this time. Yes I said it. Not every pretty stone is right for you during this phase of your healing process.
To find the crystals and tarot decks that are best for you, you have to sit with the stone or the deck and see if it connects to you. Does it give you a sense of calm and quietness? Can you hear it speak to you? Or sense its healing qualities? These are real signs that a stone or a deck is right for you. You are not crazy or hearing things I promise you! To receive the help your looking for you have to be willing to listen and look for the signs around you. Sometimes they can be hard to hear and other times they have be screaming in your face saying "Hey I can help you! Pick me!". Theres no need to look to hard or search for the perfect one. When the time is right you will find exactly what you're looking for. Just be patient and trust in the universe. She always has new lessons for us to learn.
Im diving into this one a little deeper only because it's important to know how to use these sacred tools. Whenever I use a stone or a tarot deck, I always ask its permission to use them first. Most of the time I get a resounding yes but sometimes I get a no. In which case I put that one down and find another or ask it why. Don't be afraid to talk with your sacred tools! They are trying to communicate with you so we have to be willing to listen. When you get a yes from your chosen item, allow yourself to ground and get really quiet within yourself. Hold the stone or cards in your hands for a moment and center yourself with the item. Once you feel centered and calm you can then ask your question. Sometimes it takes a moment for the message to come through so be patient! Energy moves at a much different rate than we do and it has much more information to decipher and translate to us. If you receive an answer you didn't like or aren't satisfied with you can always ask a different way. However, more often than not, no matter how many different ways you ask. 'The Tower' is still 'The Tower'. It's always helpful to keep notes so you can remember any intuition or thought that comes up or an epiphany that enlightens you.
5. Ask For Help From Your Higher Self
This seems like such an obvious action to take but it's not put to practice as much as you might think. We as humans often think we are just bopping around down here without any help and that no-one cares about us. Where that might be a convincing thought, it is incorrect. Not sorry to say. We are always connected with our higher selves. They are always there trying to help guide us to our fates and destinies. Yes we have karma and contracts that we have to live out sometimes but that doesn't mean that we are doomed to a life of bad luck or ill fate.
We often conflate our Ego with our Higher Self. When we tell ourselves that we are stupid for making that decision or an idiot for going that direction, that is our ego talking and taking over our inner dialog. Tell that voice to SHUT UP! Our true higher self only speaks with love and kindness to you. Our higher selves are always looking out for whats best for us and will never diminish or belittle who we are. Our higher self wants us to succeed and thrive!
How to Take Your Inner Journey to the Next Level
Let's say you've done all these steps and you feel as though you're finally getting somewhere and getting some answers. So exciting! But then you hit a road block, you start doubting yourself and judging the messages you receive. This happens to all of us! That's our Ego trying so hard to butt its ugly head in. Don't let it! Kindly say to it, 'You are not welcome here' and press on. If that voice persists, confront it and call it out and tell it again 'You are not welcome here' and focus on your main intent. It sounds so easy when I say it like that but we can't buy into our negative self talk. Period. Like our dear friend Dory tell us - just keep swimming. We will eventually find exactly what we're looking for when we least expect it. So maybe stop trying so hard and let go!
On the other hand, maybe you've been trying so hard to connect and nothing is happening! You've done the due diligence, cleaned your space, set up your alter, ate healthy and asked for help. Yet nothing is coming through! WTH?! When these moment of disconnect happen sometimes we just have to stop what we're doing and take a break. When we focus on one thing for too long we start seeing the same things over and over again. At those moments we need to step back and allow for the universe to give us some perspective. Be patient with yourself and remember Rome was not built in a day. It's like anything in life, we have to do it consistently to see results. Don't give up and believe in yourself to keep going.
So there you have it. 5 action steps you can take when you're feeling lost and alone and longing to connect with your Higher Self. These moments in life are challenging and isolating in it of themselves without us putting more pressure to find that connection.
Be kind and gentle to yourself and allow time for new routines and habits to form. None of us are perfect and we're all trying to figure out our path in life. Trust yourself and Trust in the Universe. She's always looking our for you.
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